What Could Be A One-Liner Joke Used In My School Captain Speech?

What Could Be A One-Liner Joke Used In My School Captain Speech?
Hi,
I’m planning on preparing a speech for my school’s School Captain Election. I’ve heard that starting out the speech with a one-liner joke related to the speech is very good.
Now, does anybody have any ideas of one-liner jokes ten,eleven and twelve year olds will [...]

Captain Chris Shows You How To Win Any Fight

Captain Chris is a well known name in the martial arts world. He has accomplished one of the most rare feats among martial artists. He has created his own system of Close Combat Training.
 
Before he achieved renown as the creator of one of the most pragmatic fighting styles ever, he had a long and illustrious [...]

Captain Chris Gives You the Way to Win Any Fight

Captain Chris Pizzo is no stranger to the world of martial arts. He is a well known and accomplished fighter, and has achieved a level of mastery rarely seen. He has developed his own fighting style.
He had a long and illustrious career as a fighter before he developed this most pragmatic fighting style, called Close [...]