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	<title>Redneck Dad &#187; Captain</title>
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	<link>http://redneckdad.com</link>
	<description>Have you had your laugh today?</description>
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		<title>What Could Be A One-Liner Joke Used In My School Captain Speech?</title>
		<link>http://redneckdad.com/what-could-be-a-one-liner-joke-used-in-my-school-captain-speech/440/</link>
		<comments>http://redneckdad.com/what-could-be-a-one-liner-joke-used-in-my-school-captain-speech/440/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 04 Apr 2010 20:50:55 +0000</pubDate>
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				<category><![CDATA[Redneck Jokes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Captain]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Could]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Joke]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Oneliner]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[School]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Speech.]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Used]]></category>

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What Could Be A One-Liner Joke Used In My School Captain Speech?
Hi,
I&#8217;m planning on preparing a speech for my school&#8217;s School Captain Election. I&#8217;ve heard that starting out the speech with a one-liner joke related to the speech is very good.
Now, does anybody have any ideas of one-liner jokes ten,eleven and twelve year olds will [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img style="float:left;margin: 0 20px 10px 0;" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3224/2872588348_705eb68394_m.jpg" width="160" /><br />
What Could Be A One-Liner Joke Used In My School Captain Speech?<br />
Hi,<br />
I&#8217;m planning on preparing a speech for my school&#8217;s School Captain Election. I&#8217;ve heard that starting out the speech with a one-liner joke related to the speech is very good.<br />
Now, does anybody have any ideas of one-liner jokes ten,eleven and twelve year olds will understand related to a School Captain speech?</p>
<p>Thankyou for your time,<br />
Jasmine.</p>
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		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Captain Chris Shows You How To Win Any Fight</title>
		<link>http://redneckdad.com/captain-chris-shows-you-how-to-win-any-fight/290/</link>
		<comments>http://redneckdad.com/captain-chris-shows-you-how-to-win-any-fight/290/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 21 Jan 2010 00:45:29 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Redneck]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Captain]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Chris]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Fight]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Shows]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://redneckdad.com/captain-chris-shows-you-how-to-win-any-fight/290/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
Captain Chris is a well known name in the martial arts world. He has accomplished one of the most rare feats among martial artists. He has created his own system of Close Combat Training.
 
Before he achieved renown as the creator of one of the most pragmatic fighting styles ever, he had a long and illustrious [...]]]></description>
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<p>Captain Chris is a well known name in the martial arts world. He has accomplished one of the most rare feats among martial artists. He has created his own system of Close Combat Training.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Before he achieved renown as the creator of one of the most pragmatic fighting styles ever, he had a long and illustrious career as a fighter. Possessing five black belts and having been a US Army Human Intelligence Officer, Captain Chris started off knowing more than most people about how to beat an opponent.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He went on to compete in martial arts tournaments, winning nearly 150 trophies and medals in Judo, Karate, Boxing and Brazilian Jiu-jitsu. He was also the Gold Medal US Grappling Champion, and Silver Medal Grappler’s Quest National Champion. However, there was one event that changed his life entirely. He lost a fight, and nearly his life. Not just his own, but his wife’s as well.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>One night, he and his then girlfriend were nearly driven off the road by a driver in a pickup truck. This driver tailed him to the next light, got out and made his way to Chris’ window. While he was dominating the trucker, the trucker’s lady friend, no small fry herself, began attacking his girlfriend with a knife. When she saw that her man was losing, she turned her attention on Chris.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Deflecting this attack put him on the ground, face down. The two then began working him over, only to be stopped by the fortunate arrival of a police car. Chris learned a valuable lesson that day. All the training in the world didn’t mean anything against a couple of angry rednecks.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>This event inspired Captain Chris to search the world over to find the most pragmatic means of beating an opponent, or even several opponents. He disregarded all the flashy “pretty” forms and boiled it down to the question of what really worked. With Close Combat Training, Captain Chris presents the results of his findings.</p>
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<p>To find out more about Captain Chris  , take a moment and visit us at  <a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" onclick="javascript:pageTracker._trackPageview('/outgoing/article_exit_link');" href="http://www.closecombattraining.com">http://www.closecombattraining.com</a></p>
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		<item>
		<title>Captain Chris Gives You the Way to Win Any Fight</title>
		<link>http://redneckdad.com/captain-chris-gives-you-the-way-to-win-any-fight/237/</link>
		<comments>http://redneckdad.com/captain-chris-gives-you-the-way-to-win-any-fight/237/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 02 Jan 2010 00:49:15 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Redneck]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Captain]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Chris]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Fight]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Gives]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://redneckdad.com/captain-chris-gives-you-the-way-to-win-any-fight/237/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
Captain Chris Pizzo is no stranger to the world of martial arts. He is a well known and accomplished fighter, and has achieved a level of mastery rarely seen. He has developed his own fighting style.
He had a long and illustrious career as a fighter before he developed this most pragmatic fighting style, called Close [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img style="float:left;margin: 0 20px 10px 0;" src="http://farm1.static.flickr.com/52/156677133_aa188b0499_m.jpg" width="160" /></p>
<p><a rel="nofollow" onclick="javascript:pageTracker._trackPageview('/outgoing/article_exit_link');" href="http://www.closecombattraining.com/">Captain Chris</a> Pizzo is no stranger to the world of martial arts. He is a well known and accomplished fighter, and has achieved a level of mastery rarely seen. He has developed his own fighting style.</p>
<p>He had a long and illustrious career as a fighter before he developed this most pragmatic fighting style, called Close Combat Training. Having five black belts in different styles and being a US Army Human Intelligence Officer, <a rel="nofollow" onclick="javascript:pageTracker._trackPageview('/outgoing/article_exit_link');" href="http://captainchris2.wordpress.com/2009/09/30/captain-chris-gives-you-the-way-to-win-any-fight/">Captain Chris</a> has forgotten more than most people may ever learn about how to defeat an adversary.</p>
<p>From there, he competed in many martial arts tournaments, and won almost 150 medals and trophies in Karate, Judo, Brazilian Jiu jitsu and Boxing. He was a Silver Medal Grappler’s Quest National Champion and a Gold Medal US Grappling Champion. For all the fights he won and how impressive the awards were, however, he lost one fight that would change his life. It nearly killed him and his wife-to-be.</p>
<p>Leaving a dinner party one night, the couple was almost driven off the road by a couple in a pickup truck. In a fit of road rage, the driver followed him to the next light, and came to Chris’ window to start a fight. Chris consented to the fight and began soundly defeating his assailant. Meanwhile, the trucker’s companion began attacking Chris’ girlfriend with a knife. When she saw that her companion was losing the fight, she went after Chris.</p>
<p>This provided just the amount of distraction needed to turn the fight against Chris. He found himself face down on the ground. His two attackers were only stopped by the auspicious appearance of a cop. When it came down to it, all of Chris’ achievements meant nothing when it came to two angry rednecks.</p>
<p>From there, Chris searched the world for the most effective fighting techniques. These were all condensed into one form, Close Combat Training, and made available to you.</p>
<p>For more information about Captain Chris visit http://www.closecombattraining.com/</p>
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