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Golf Jokes from enjoymygolf.com –Cost of a round of golf

Sun, 09 Jan 2011 20:48:02 +0000

Golf Jokes from enjoymygolf.com –Cost of a round of golf

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Home Page > Sports and Fitness > Golf > Golf Jokes from enjoymygolf.com –Cost of a round of golf

Golf Jokes from enjoymygolf.com –Cost of a round of golf

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Posted: Dec 26, 2010 |Comments: 0
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Golf Jokes from enjoymygolf.com –Cost of a round of golf

enjoymygolf 2010-12-26

It was a Sunday morning and four good buddies were at the first tee with his TaylorMade R9 SuperTri Driver . Number one said, “This golf game is costing me dinner for my wife tonight.”

Number two said, “That’s nothing, I had to agree to my wife’s parents spending the weekend with us.”

“Ha!” said number three, “I had to give my old lady the credit card to go shopping.”

Number four said “Boy are you guys ever screwed up. I woke up this morning and the wife asked what I was planning. I replied ‘Golf course or intercourse?’ She said, ‘Take a sweater’ and went back to sleep.”

The deaf mute golfer

A deaf mute steps up to tee off on the first hole of a golf (Titleist 909 D3 Driver ) course, when a large burly guy yells “Hey You!, Nobody tees off ahead of Big Ralph”. Being deaf the poor guy continues to prepare for his shot, so Ralph runs up thinking the deaf mute is being obstinate, and knocks the poor guy to the ground, kicks his ball away, and prepares for his own shot. After Ralph has hit the ball and proceeded down the fairway after it, the mute gets up brushes himself off, waits a moment, and again prepares his shot.

The deaf mute then hits a beautiful shot straight up the middle of the fairway, striking big Ralph in the back of the head, and knocking him unconscious. The mute then walks down the fairway rolls big Ralph and holds up four fingers in front of Ralph’s face.

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Funny golf jokes from Enjoymygolf.com (5)

Fri, 07 Jan 2011 20:47:18 +0000

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Home Page > Sports and Fitness > Golf > Funny golf jokes from Enjoymygolf.com (5)

Funny golf jokes from Enjoymygolf.com (5)

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Posted: Dec 29, 2010 |Comments: 0
|

Backspin

An amateur was talking to his golf pro.
Amateur: “How do you get so much backspin?”
Pro: “Before I answer that, tell me, how far do you hit a Mizuno JPX 800 Irons ?”
Amateur: “About 130.”
Pro: “Then why in the world would you want the ball to spin back !?”

The pro and the JP

The Justice of the Peace in a small town was about to tee off with two other friends one day when the club pro volunteered to join them. It seemed like the perfect opportunity for a free lesson.

But instead of being helpful the pro was openly critical of the JP’s Mizuno JPX 800 Irons . At every bumbled shot, the pro made a joke about the justice.

But the criticism didn’t even stop at the end of the round. The pro continued to embarrass the JP in the clubhouse among his friends. Finally the pro got up to leave and said, “Judge, let’s do it again sometime. If you can’t find anybody else to make a foursome, I’ll be glad to play Mizuno JPX 800 Irons with you again.”

“Well that would be fine,” the justice of the peace said. “How about next Saturday? I don’t think any of my friends can join us, so why don’t you just have your parents join us, and after our round I can marry them.”

A serious looking iron with ‘Balanced Performance’ the JPX800 is Mizuno’s first to utilize its JPX exotic technology platform. ‘Balanced Performance’ is the result of a project to create an iron with strengths in a number of key criteria (feel, control, forgiveness, distance, profile) without one compromising another. The JPX800 delivers the magical combination of being Mizuno’s most forgiving and longest iron of all time. The JPX800’s look from address and solid feel at impact will have single figure players questioning their choice of iron. The visible distance gains of the JPX800 irons are achieved by combining Mizuno’s Hot Metal approach – incorporating a new manufacturing process for a thinner, more uniform iron face. This Hot Metal process allows the JPX800 to hit the maximum allowable limits for energy transfer, far exceeding previous Mizuno irons. An exotic pocket cavity, with multiple thickness levels and an external power bar add the highest measurable levels of forgiveness (MOI) achieved in a Mizuno iron to date. The JPX800 achieves all this within a mid-size head which presents itself even more compactly and versatile thanks to a triple cut sole design. A progressive flow to shapely shorter irons, complete the JPX800′s ‘Balanced’ orientation.

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Homer’s Attack-Neighbor From Hell

Sat, 04 Dec 2010 00:49:50 +0000

My neighbor from HELL takes it upon himself to landscape my yard while I’m away. He hires someone to cut down and stump grind trees six plus feet into my yard, causing great erosion, then has the nerve to attack me, when I confront him about it.

Anecdotes and jokes from Ukraine – Takes you on a fun ride!

Sun, 22 Aug 2010 20:59:45 +0000

Jokes about Ukrainians or jokes told by Ukrainians touches the Ukrainian soul.

Some of these jokes or anecdotes are shown below.

The soul of the man is in his stomach

A Ukrainian man was shipwrecked. He lived on a desert island for two years.

Once he saw a boat with a beautiful woman not far from the shore.

She said: « Come here, and I will give you that what you wanted these two years.

«Vareniki! Vareniki!»- the man cried and jumped into the water.

P.S Vareniki and pork fat are favorite Ukrainian food.

Hungry?

Jewish mother goes out to the balcony and cries to her son who is playing in the yard: – David!

Come home!

The son raises his head and cries: – Am I cold? -

No. You want to eat!

Would you like to talk about it?

Two psychoanalysts are cycling. One of them has a bad fall. Bruises, scratches, broken arm… Another runs up to him and asks in a very sympathetic voice:

- How much does it hurt? Would you like to talk about it?

Rabinovich

Rabinovich fills out a job application form. The official is skeptical: “You stated that you don’t have any relatives abroad, but you do have a brother in Israel.” / “Yes, but he isn’t abroad, I am abroad!”

Vovochka

The teacher asks the class to produce a word that starts with the letter “A”; Vovochka happily raises his hand and says “Asshole!” The teacher, shocked, responds “For shame! There’s no such word!” “That’s strange,” says Vovochka, “the asshole exists, but the word doesn’t!”

If you want to see 100’s of these anecdotes, you should read this book.

by Stig-Arne Kristoffersen

Stig-Arne Kristoffersen has a background as civil engineer and geoscientist. He has worked mainly within the oil and gas industry from the mid 1980s. He has written a few fictional novels as well as being the author of some professional litterature within oil and gas sector, he act as a writer to various web sites.

From Pixels to Plastic: Episode 20- Sonic the Hedgehog (PART 1)

Tue, 10 Aug 2010 01:05:34 +0000

In this EPIC episode, Pixel Dan celebrates his 20th episode by taking a look at MANY collectibles from the topic the viewers have requested the most: Sonic! MANY very special guests appear and helped out with this episode, including RetrowareTV.com namesakes such as Ito and JohnD, Ben from Video Game Take-Out, Derek the Happy Video Game Nerd and Norm the Gaming Historian! Even Benzaie from “Games You Might Don’t Know” and Guru Larry from ScrewAttack Europe make special appearances! This video is too long for YouTube, so it has been split in 3 parts! BE SURE TO WATCH ALL 3 PARTS! Thanks to all of the viewers! www.RetrowareTV.com

Where was redneck terrorist Tim McVeigh tried? How are the 9/11 murderers different from him, legally?

Mon, 24 May 2010 00:50:13 +0000

Was the US ‘at war’ on the morning of 9/11?

Steele : Do crimes committed by foreigners on US soil automatically go to military courts?
Shovel : Which ‘enemy army’ was Al Qaeda with? Wasn’t Militiaman McVeigh ‘waging war’ against the US government?

how do i make a house looks crappy redneck style from the outside but hightech and sophisticated from inside?

Tue, 04 May 2010 00:51:32 +0000

i want to build a house that looks crappy redneck style from the outside but high tech and sophisticated from the inside.

What clothes can I wear with these boots to prevent me from looking like a redneck?

Fri, 30 Apr 2010 00:49:37 +0000

I’m a 17 year old guy who lives in Florida, and I want to wear these boots for college when it gets cold. I really like them for the ruggedness. The only thing is that the only people who wear these in Florida are rednecks, and I’m not a redneck. What can I wear with them to prevent me from looking like that?

Redneck.TV Episode Nine – Imported Wines From MO, CA, & OH

Fri, 09 Apr 2010 00:49:31 +0000

World famous rednecks, Mr. A. Big Johnson and cousin Hugh G. Johnson review Yahoo’s new email program. They discuss hps problems with discount printer inks and they review imported fine wines; some from as far away as Missouri, Ohio, and California. They even review one foreign wine – made by the gutless French!

Why do people think that everyone from Texas is a redneck?

Wed, 31 Mar 2010 00:55:26 +0000

That is so irritating. I live in Texas, and I hate country music, I don’t have a horse and have no idea how to ride one, I’ve never been “cattle ropin’”, and I don’t live anywhere near cows, my house is surrounded by trees, I have electricity, I go to the mall ALL THE TIME, and I’ve never seen a desert before. I don’t even have an accent. We’re just like everyone else from every other state. Why does everyone think we’re stupid redneck hicks?