You can be humorous in writing your best man speech with jokes and anecdotes to help you tell your story. It is easy to write funny toasts and speeches if you have some tips and tricks to help guide you in writing.

I am not a professional wedding speech writer. I am also a best man like you. I wrote my best man speech with funny jokes in a few hours after reading some guide online. I know that you too can write your own humorous speech and toasts. Just follow the tips and tricks that I will enumerate below.

So without further ado, let me share some of the wedding speech writing tips that I learned on the web.

1. Make a draft of your best man speech. Remember that you don’t have to worry about grammar or spelling at first. The draft was meant to be full of mistakes. However, if you think that your drafts are full of spelling and grammatical errors, then you must know that you will have to edit and re-edit it to perfection.

2. Use short sentences when filling your paragraphs. Just use 3 to 4 sentences when populating your paragraphs to keep your speech short and simple. You have to know how to keep everything short because you don’t want to tell a 5 minute story with a lame punchline at the end.

3. Engage your listeners/audience by using colorful and descriptive words. Use the old creative writing adage – show, don’t tell. It sounds hard to do but all you really need to use are metaphors and imagery to help people visualize what you are saying.

4. Do not use fancy words so as not to alienate your audience. Just use regular, conversational English and you will not go wrong. Using fancy words that can only be found in the dictionary or thesaurus is more annoying than entertaining.

5. Rehearse your speech with someone else. If you have someone that you can practice your speech then it will be very beneficial for editing your work, and even to see immediate reactions to your jokes.

It’s great top rehearse with one or two of your family or friends. It will make the speech writing process faster and much more dynamic.

So you see, writing a best man speech with jokes are as easy as ABC. I tried all the tips above and I made a good delivery at my friend’s wedding. If you need more professional speech writing guide then just click http://www.weddingspeechesforall.com

History of NASCAR

NASCAR (the National Association for Stock Car Auto Racing) really started back just before Prohibition, when hillbilly moonshiners up in the Appalachians found out that the revenuers’ cars were fast enough to get the jump on them. Illegal stills started getting busted, and shine makers started going to jail. Instead of buckling, moonshiners moved their stills further back into the woods and down in the hollers, and they started using cars.

When Prohibition came into effect in 1920, moonshiners started looking beyond outwitting the tax-collecting revenuers and toward shipping ’shine to the cities for real profit. Gangsters – Pretty Boy Floyd, Baby Face Nelson, Capone – started making contact with these good ol’ boys to see if they could get a steady supply of alcohol for their speakeasies and other businesses. And young men, usually the sons or nephews of established moonshiners, started working with stock cars to get the ’shine to town as fast as possible.

These, our redneck forefathers, modified the cars they ordered from magazines or purchased from fledgling dealers in towns to run faster, harder, on rough and smooth surfaces. They experimented with using ’shine as a fuel for a boost in speed, and invented many of the tricks used today in NASCAR. Junior Johnson, one of NASCAR’s earliest legends, spent years running ’shine for his father using scampish tricks later mimicked by Burt Reynolds characters and the Dukes of Hazzard. He invented the famous bootleg turn, the 180-degree spinout sending you careening in the opposite direction, that is used in nearly every movie car chase today, and later as a NASCAR champ discovered how to “draft” another driver to increase his own speed and reduce fuel consumption.

NASCAR was officially born in 1948, a merging of this wild redneck tradition with the more upscale Grand Prix racing imported from Europe, in which mostly concept cars and special sports cars were raced. William France, a racing mechanic, had a notion that stock cars would draw crowds in America, and he incorporated NASCAR in Daytona, from which it quickly grew to the giant it is today.

Today’s NASCAR, industrialized and streamlined and watered down for general consumption, is only a pale imitation of the free-for-all madness our bootlegging ancestors first drove.

NASCAR Rules

While the first NASCAR stock cars were completely unmodified stock cars, the same ones you’d buy off the lot, today’s cars are modified according to strict safety and performance rules.

The rules in NASCAR are both simple and complex. Drivers in the top 43 of each race accumulate points according to a set system. Cups are awarded according to who has accumulated the most points in a set group of races. The Sprint Cup (usually just called the Cup, as it was previously the R.J. Reynolds and the Nextel Cup) is the big prize, and is awarded after a set of 36 races. Other smaller cups are awarded for other groups of races, and each major race has around $4 million total in prize money awarded for that race alone.

Points in the major races (but not all NASCAR races) are awarded not only to the race winner but to each lap leader. If you’ve led at least one lap, you automatically get five bonus points; if you lead the most laps, you get an extra five, for ten bonus points total. Points go to the driver who started the race (replacement drivers get nothing) and to the car owner. Races are generally prefaced either by qualifying trials or by heats, small races that get the crowd warmed up but don’t count toward prizes. Starting order is determined by qualifying time.

The track, once started, is slowed down by yellow caution flags for fender benders, spills, etc.; if something catastrophic happens, the red flag will come down to stop the race until wreckage can be cleared. Green flag means everything is fine. And in most NASCAR races, you’ll see drivers pull off for at least one pit stop; the pit crew works fast to fuel, check, condition, and change tires because the time in pit counts against your time on the track.

A NASCAR Date

So now you have that redneck sweetheart and you really want to impress him? Set up a date for one of the smaller NASCAR races, with barbecue and and chips for your refreshments. Beer is a must, and for that special touch, ask your liquor store for some ’shine, which should be drunk straight but in moderation. Dress any old way you want, park him on the couch, and let him explain all the finer points of the race to you while you both enjoy the race.

The first question we have to ask ourselves is “What exactly does it take to be a redneck?” Is it a part of your DNA or is it the way you part your hair? Is it a state of mind, or is it the state of Alabama? These are the questions that keep many redneck wanna-be’s up all night until the butt crack of dawn. But beyond these deep philosophical questions, what are the nuts and bolts of actually becoming a certified redneck? As the bumper sticker says, “What Would Bubba Do?”

Well, the first step down the road to redneckville is to visit the rednecks and learn their ways. Don’t worry, they won’t bite. So take your time to study their language, play their games, and drink their beer. Just don’t drink all of their beer, or they WILL bite. One of the best places to interact with rednecks in their native habitat is at the Summer Redneck Games, held annually since 1996 outside of Atlanta. Featured games include the Hubcap Hurl and Redneck Horseshoes, using of course a toilet seat as the horseshoe. And don’t miss their Bobbin’ for Pig’s Feet Fest.

Now that you’ve studied the redneck, you’re ready to put on a cut-off flannel shirt and try it yourself. Fortunately, entire industries have arisen to satisfy our redneck cravings. You won’t have to search long to find redneck books and videos, redneck auto and truck accessories, redneck apparel, and yes, redneck food. In the food category, you’ll find redneck cookbooks (think beer can chicken recipes), bacon flavored mints, exotic meats gift sets, and BBQ scented scratch-n-sniff undies. If, after feasting on all this, you’re feeling too lazy to take your truck four wheeling through the mud, you can use a product called Sprayonmud, so you’ll at least look like you’ve gone muddin’.

We’ll, you’re almost there. You just need a bit more practice in the redneck arts. So while you’re waiting for your mullet to grow, take in a midget wrestling match. Learn to play “Sweet Home Alabama” with your armpit and palm. Luckily, there is not just one path to becoming a redneck, but many.

For more redneck humor, visit http://www.redneckgear.com/ where you’ll find funny redneck products, jokes and humor, and redneck photos.