What Could Be A One-Liner Joke Used In My School Captain Speech?

What Could Be A One-Liner Joke Used In My School Captain Speech?
Hi,
I’m planning on preparing a speech for my school’s School Captain Election. I’ve heard that starting out the speech with a one-liner joke related to the speech is very good.
Now, does anybody have any ideas of one-liner jokes ten,eleven and twelve year olds will [...]

5 Rules for How to Write a Classic One-liner Joke

I’m a psychologist, not a professional comedy writer (After all, how funny is this first sentence?). But when, about 20 years ago, I took up to an hour each day (and I mean, for 365 days) just to write jokes, gags, and one-liners for cartoonists, comedians, and speakers, I thought I was clever enough to [...]