What is the funniest joke you have ever heard?
November 19, 2009 by
Filed under Redneck Jokes
Some jokes are good, some jokes are bad, but some are so funny that you can never forget them. What is the funniest joke you have ever heard?
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why don’t black people square dance?
because when they hear hoedown they think one of their sisters got shot
that the supreme commander of the us armed forces was awarded a nobel peace price.
I don’t know if this is the funniest, but it is funny.
“Doctor, won’t you please kiss me,” says the patient.
“No. You’re a very beautiful woman, but it’s against my code of ethics,” replies her doctor.
“Please, just one kiss,” she pleads.
“Sorry,” says the doctor. “It’s totally out of the question. I shouldn’t even be screwing you.”
what do you call cheese thats not yours
nacho cheese! never gets old! xD
its overused i know…
this is a few very funny jokes:
what do u call a bunch white guys running down a hill: avalanche
what do u call a bunch of black guys running down a hill: rock slide
what do u call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill: jail break.
LOL
whats a Mexicans favorite sport: cross country
LOL
What did the fish say when he ran into the wall?
DAM!!!!
haha…gets me everytime!
One day when the teacher walked to the black board, she noticed someone had
written the word ‘penis’ in tiny small letters. She turned around, scanned the
class looking for the guilty face. Finding none, she quickly erased it, and
began her class.
The next day she went into the room and she saw, in larger letters, the word
‘penis’ again on the black board. Again, she looked around in vain for the
culprit, but found none, so she proceeded with the day’s lesson.
Every morning, for about a week, she went into the classroom and found the
same word written on the board, and each day it was written in larger letters.
Finally, one day, she walked in, expecting to be greeted by the same word on
the board, but instead, found the words, “The more you rub it, the bigger it gets!”
Unfortunately, I can’t share the funniest joke(s) I know on this website as they are quite crude, but here’s my favorite “G” rated joke:
What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?
A stick
Probably not the funniest, but my dad told this joke and it caught me so off guard I couldn’t stop laughing for like 10 minutess. xD
Okay, here goes…
So a pirate walks into a bar and the bartender looks at him and says “Say- you realize you have a steering wheel sticking out of your crotch?”
To which the pirate replies “Yarr, it’s driving me nuts!”
Obama got noble peace prize
Ram (www.openletters.in)
90 year old man: My 28 year old wife is pregnant, your opinion Doctor?
Doctor: Let me tell you a story. A hunter in a hurry grabs an umbrella instead of the gun. He moves into the woods, sees a bear, lifts the umbrella, pulls the handle and BANG… The bear drops dead!
Old man: Thats impossible; someone else must have shot the bear.
Doctor: MY POINT EXACTLY!
Ok so a man’s wife is in the hospital after a terrible car crash. After six months the doctor calls the husband into a seperate room.
Doctor- I have good news and bad news. Which would you like to hear first?
Husband- I guess the bad news.
Doctor- Ok your wife is paralyzed. So your going to have to bath her and feed her. She also must be kept on a respirator for quite some time so your going to have to stay home and watch over her. She has trouble breathing so she will constantly sound like she’s snoring. She also is unable to speak properly so it’s gonna sound weird. Another thing is that you will need to pay for constant medical assistance.
Husband- Oh my gosh thats all terrible! But I guess it’ll be okay. So whats the good news doctor?
Doctor- Oh she died an hour ago!